The problem with ‘Good’

  I was looking through my old blogs and realized I needed to heed my own advice. This is one I wrote over a year ago. With school starting again, I think it's time to review praise and declarations and put them back into practice!

“Good job!” “That picture looks good!” “Looking good sweetie!” “You are a good brother!” “You are a good boy!”

 

Sounds ‘good,’ right? I thought so too… until the day when I told my son, “Remember – you are a good student! You are a good friend!” just before sending him off to school. 

He looked at me without saying a word, but his eyes told me plenty: “Oh, sure. Don’t worry about the bullies I just told you about and the fact that only 1 or 2 of all the kids like me. Don’t worry about the teacher that blames and punishes me with all the kids because she doesn’t know who did wrong. Don’t worry about the homework you yelled at me last night because I didn’t do it fast enough. Yeah – sure. I’m good?” 

When he was gone, I thought about what he had told me through that look. He was telling me he needed something different, but I didn’t know what. I had learned to use declarations, or positive affirmations to boost myself and my family up. I use them daily. What was wrong with saying what I said? Well, he just didn’t believe it, I thought. You are supposed to say it until you believe it. But that look had said so much MORE! I mulled and prayed.. and read.

I am reading a new favorite book of mine: Liberated Parents,Liberated Children by  Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It talked about just this thing. “To a lay person it always comes as a surprise when he praises a child generously and the child then becomes obnoxious. To the psychologist it's no mystery. He knows that children must throw off global praise, it's too confining. ...when we use global praise with children, we are practically asking for trouble." (pg. 57)

And that’s when it hit me: the phrase ‘You are a good student/friend” is too confining for him. My son hates authority, rules, and doing anything any way but his own. To say he IS good is like saying he HAS to be GOOD ALL THE TIME! To him, this is too much. Instead of trying, he gave up, made mischief and had as much fun as he could. Why try when it is impossible? 

So WHAT DO I DO??? 

My new favorite book had the answer as well: descriptive praise. Not a completely new concept to me; however, I was not using it correctly or effectively. This morning that changed.

I found something positive to ‘describe’ from the day before. When I woke him up I said, “Yesterday you told me how you earned a recognition in school. You said you were trying hard to pay attention even when the kids around you weren’t. That takes discipline and focus. You did it and got your reward. I wanted to tell you I appreciate your effort.” I then gave him a sticker in our reward system at home.

He smiled, and then told me he had talked with his brother the night before until after 9:00pm, (when he was supposed to be going to sleep) about the basketball tournament last weekend. I held back criticism and simply said, “I am happy you can talk to your brother about things that are important to you!” 

I didn’t even tell him to hurry up so he wouldn’t miss the bus; instead I simply said, “It is now 6:25.” He got up and got ready for school. Just before leaving he ran to me and said, “Today, when I get home from school I am going to take a 10 min break and then get right to work!”

That afternoon he took a longer break. He took all afternoon to do his chores and his homework. This time there was no badgering from me. I am finally learning to let him make his own decisions. He did finish his responsibilities. He even cleaned up his mess when he broke my glass measuring cup without me having to ask him to do it. Then I was able to describe that to him to: “I noticed when you made a mess, you went right ahead and cleaned it up. You swept all of the pieces off the floor. Where did you learn to clean up like that?”

He thought for a moment, “I guess I watched you and Dad do it.”

“You know. I am so glad you can watch Mom and Dad. Cleaning up after your mess was responsible. Thank you for cleaning up your mess!” His eyes beamed with pleasure. They were telling me a much different story than they had just the morning before.

Just before bed he said, “Tomorrow I am only going to take a 5 min break, and then get right to work!” Will he? Well, we will see. The day he does I will tell him, “Hey! You did exactly what you said you would. Now I know I can trust that when you say you will do something, you will.”

Oh… I almost forgot… about those declarations, “I am a good student! I am a good friend!”

They now read, “I am an attentive student!” and “I am a considerate and thoughtful friend!”

Now he will know exactly how to act, and he will believe he can.

Effective Instructional Strategies Explained... These are the Good Ones!

It's been a couple of weeks since I posted the more ineffective strategies... NOW! For the good ones! Again, as I said in my first post, a BALANCE of the different approaches is needed! Here's the link to the strategies to limit (more Ineffective Strategies)

Whole Language approach: Also called, the “Top to bottom approach,” and is contrasted to a phonics or skills based approach to decoding and spelling. The philosophy here is to focus on meaning and strategy instruction, literature-based or integrated instruction. Many of the next strategies are a part of a whole language philosophy. When looking at second language learners, including Deaf children, this philosophy and approach to language is critical! This one will get its own post…for now this link shows a very basic overview.

A Writing Activity

Readers and Writer’s workshop: Writers engage in reading and writing for their own purposes. Led by the teacher through ‘mini lessons’ the students learning reading and writing strategies while choosing their own reading and writing topics. This is a great explanation! 

 You can also see how I did a mini writer's workshop lesson with my son during the writing of our recent vacation blog. In it I note how I picked two grammar principles to teach during that writing session. After we had done the writing together, he felt confident to write on his own.

Cooperative learning: More than just working in groups, cooperative learning gives each student a chance to fulfill a different role in a group: a leader, a secretary, a moderator, etc. while completing the assigned task. More here

Visuals (SMART boards, pictures, tables, graphs): Visuals are so important for deaf children, it is their primary learning style (even if they are using Auditory Listening Devices (ALDs)). Teachers who use visuals will have an easier time of keeping students’ attention while increasing performance.

Bi-lingual/Tri- modal instruction (English/ASL/speech and listening as needed): Using American Sign Language (ASL) to teach English. More than just using sign language as the ‘mode of communication’ in the classroom, these strategies connect and bridge ASL and English while developing both. The goal is for your child to truly become bilingual in ASL and English. This one needs its own post… and you can find basic explanation here for now. This is one article of how a preschool approach might look.

This is our Sensory table - with spelling words!

Balanced Literacy Approach – Children need read in different ways every day. The teacher should be reading aloud to the class daily in ASL following the 15 principles of Read Alouds . Shared reading happens as the same book, or book type, is read repeatedly and the reading shared between student and teacher, with the teacher modeling and supporting the students as they read. Finally, the students read the SAME book on their own, with confidence.

Hands on Activities: Math manipulatives, science projects, field trips, art, constructing reports on research, creating artifacts. As part of integrated units, hands on activities give the students a way to discover new knowledge or to put their learning into action. Our LegoFraction lesson is one example.

Painting a house as part of our Fire unit.

Integrated Thematic Units: Teachers select a theme around which to base all subjects around. In the Fall math, science and language arts can all relate to the Autumn Season. Basic skills instruction is still built into the daily routine, but the main teaching revolves around the theme. Focus is on depth and world knowledge through whole language learning. Check it out more here.

Development of child’s Native Language (ASL): ASL should be focused on and developed. When bilinguals strengthen their native language, the second language is also strengthened (reference here). Easily added to thematic units, ASL can enrich the learning of any subject. We’ll have some fun examples of this!

Always Reading!

Differentiated Assessments: Rubrics, portfolios, testing on content only (using ASL and oral exams), presentations, projects, writing samples, etc. While standard testing is still required, grades can be determined based on a variety of assessments that not only allow the students to shine in different ways, but also develop a variety of different skills. Find a great explanation here.

Structured routines with strong classroom management: All students thrive off of structured routines and strong classroom management. Class meetings and rules can engage the students in the governing of their own class, encouraging more cooperation. Positive reinforcement for following routines and being engaged in learning is a must.

While this list is extensive and feels overwhelming, as you learn more about a Whole Language approach, you will see how so many of these strategies fall into place. It is my goal to provide you with examples of these strategies and how they might look both in the classroom, and at  home.I'll update this post with links to those examples as they come!

Instructional Strategies Summarized!

Well, the last week has set my world in a bit of a whirlwind. Getting used to doing home-school with my 8 year old and then finding out I may be gluten intolerant and need to completely change my diet. Health and Wellness is a big part of my life, and I try to eat whole grains and make a lot of food from scratch, but going Gluten Free hasn’t necessarily been a goal.

Needless to say, blogging hasn’t been my highest priority. Slowly, things are coming into place. Monday starts my Gluten Free diet and I’ll be updating my Health and Wellness page on details there.

We did some fun projects this week, including a comparison of an Ocean and River environments. More to come on that soon! 

And now… back to our strategy descriptions. I feel it’s very important for parents to know what sound strategies are and what strategies are being used in their child’s classroom. When you able to converse with the teacher on what strategies are being used and have a general knowledge, you will gain the respect of the professionals and they might be more willing to listen and implement new strategies that you bring to them.

We’ll start with the less effective strategies.

Skills based approach: this is skill and drill. Isolated facts and vocabulary with worksheets to practice
Individual work: With individual work, sometimes the material is taught first, and sometimes it is assumed the child already knows how to do the work. Most often this takes the form of worksheets, but can include journal writing, writing and reading, etc. I don't think individual work is all bad. It's needed, in limited quantities and for mostly practice rather than figuring out new work.

Worksheets: self explanatory

Direct Instruction: Explicit, systematic instruction based on scripted lesson plans. This is a complete model of instruction and more completely explained here. This approach can be good for re-teaching basic concepts or vocabulary that has already been taught in the strategies on the right, but should not be used as the daily approach to teaching.

Isolated spelling and vocabulary words: It's very easy to follow a curriculum based spelling list and pass it out to the kids without teaching each word. However, this is so ineffective, especially for deaf children. Spelling and vocabulary is best taught in context, from text that is being read in class.

Leveled readers and Basal readers: These are the thin books sent home to read or used in class daily. Many schools use Basal readers, or reading text books, to teach reading. These resources are ok to be used in a limited manner, or for independent reading and assessments. For more information go here. Some of the reasons I don’t like them:

•  they’re boring. Often the stories are developed to fit a set reading level, have pictures that aren’t very appealing, and don’t FEEL like a real book.
•  The students can tell who is reading what level and know if they are behind.
•  When the curriculum is tied to ONLY Basal readers, the kids miss out on learning from Trade Books (regular books you get at the library, can hold in your hands and relax while reading.)

Total Communication (Signing & Talking together): This topic will get its own post! In a nutshell, Total Communication (TC) attempts to put a sign to each word in the English language. When put into practice, it’s trying to speak two languages at the same time. It’s impossible. Yet, it’s still happening! I attempt to use this method of communication when in a mixed company of deaf and hearing people. I almost ALWAYS goof up… on my signing, losing clarity in my communication with the Deaf. Not a very effective way to educate. More on this one later! For now… check out this website: 

The Good ones.... coming next week!

Effective Instructional Strategies for Deaf Students (and really all students)

I received a message from a reader the other day. He is the father of a deaf son, and he was heartbroken from my post. "So you had him in a Deaf school and it didn't work? And here I'm thinking a Deaf school is what my son needs!" 

Another question from a phone conversation a month back, "What do you look for in a good program or a school for your deaf child? How do I know if it's a good school?" 

This post is my answer. 

No matter what kind of program you decide to place your child:a residential school for the Deaf, a day program, a magnet school, there are some basic strategies that will make or break any program. A classroom teacher that implements effective strategies and an administration that encourages and requires such strategies will be a more successful program.

When we told the IEP team we were bringing my son home, the comments we got were supportive: “My grandsons were all homeschooled.” And this one I love, “School is not for everyone.” Well. My son did great in school until last year. Unfortunately, effective strategies were not used consistently in his classroom. Maybe ‘school’ in the traditional sense of skill and drill isn’t for everyone, but school COULD and SHOULD be for everyone. If we would change a few instructional practices, children would be able to thrive no matter what their ‘special need.’ And all children would benefit. How many 3^rd graders do you know like to sit and do work sheets and independent work all day?

In my work as a teacher of the deaf, and now even more as a parent of deaf children; I have seen what strategies will really engage your students/children, and others that will cause behavior problems, boredom and poor overall achievement. The table below shows ineffective instructional strategies and effective instructional strategies. Keep in mind, the ineffective strategies can be used in instruction; it’s how often they are used and to what extent. We all need a little skill and drill to practice and retain information, but too much is too much! Each Strategy will be summarized in my next post (this one is getting too long). I’ll be including posts on examples of many as we do activities here at home that match the strategies. 

The overuse of strategies found in the left column and the absence of strategies in the right, and the effect it was having on my child, is what finally caused me to take him out of school and start home school. 

My advice for parents looking for a good program for their child? 

1. Tour the school while school is in session, observing the teachers and the students during instructional time.
2. Review the school's language policy and philosophy. Use this, but don't base everything on it. For example, Utah's language policy is decades old, and their actual classroom practices in the elementary grades are much better then their language policy implies.
3. Interview the administration, teachers and staff. Question the use of the effective strategies listed on the right. What is the administration's commitment to making sure these are carried out in the classroom?
4. Try to find another parent in the area that has a child attending the school. (This might be tricky) - or review the school's website and reviews online.
5. Search for videos the school may have produced. I know some great schools are out there because of the videos they have published on YouTube. Check out these! Animals in ASL by California School for the Deaf Riverside.      Wizard of Oz by Florida School for the Deaf,  

 I'd be happy to be a "sounding board" for your questions concerning programs you are considering! Leave me a comment or email me: oilsempowerparents@gmail.com

Starting Home School!

If you've followed my blog: Powerful Parents, you'll know that I am a teacher of the deaf and am passionate about teaching deaf children. I am also the parent of 4 amazing, beautiful, smart children. One can hear (is hearing) and the other 3 are deaf.

After a year and a half of struggling in school, I did it, I brought him home. Read about how that journey started here.

Here's what happened. Christmas break ended and he went back to school. Everyday was a fight to get homework done. He started missing privileges, then started acting out more at home. Martin Luther King day - no school. Then Tuesday he came home a wreck. He was out of control and I knew something was wrong. I just looked at him and asked, "What happened?"  He actually let me hug him and replied, "It's been an awful day."

When I finally got the chance to sit down with him, after all the hustle and bustle of the afternoon, I simply asked him to tell me how he was feeling. He answered, "panicked." We had recently discussed different emotions and the idea of "panic" and "paranoia." It was an emotion we had recently identified and that he knew he had felt before. He was telling me, "I'm stressed out. I don't feel safe." Other emotions we identified as we talked: frustration, boredom, feeling restricted (creatively).

Future blog posts are going to explore some of these emotions and what in his school environment could have attributed to that. I've been asked what to look for in a good school/classroom for a deaf child. That will be a post later this week.

SO.... I finally said enough, is enough. Today started day 1 of home-school and it's going to be an adjustment. However, he is excited and I guess that's saying something. At the moment he is leading a language arts activity with my pre-schooler. The classic activity labeling items in the house. You might hear from other sources that this isn't the best activity to do, however I have found it extremely useful in my house. It's a fabulous literacy activity. He is spelling words and learning some root words, while my pre-schooler is doing letter recognition, as well as object identification and pre-literacy.


Make your labels with your child, instead of doing it and then just placing them around.

 Labels for items in your house.

Simple steps to maximize the benefit of Labels in your house!

1. Pick which objects to label.
2. Sign and fingerspell the objects with your child.
3. Type or print them on durable paper. My over achiever laminated them with clear contact paper.
4. Fingerspell the word again as you place your labels.
5. If your child is already in the word recognition phase, you could put out two words, fingerspell the correct word and have them choose the correct label.
6. Refer back to the labels during daily routines, fingerspelling and signing the name of the objects frequently.

What else do we have in store today?

A Science project that I found in my fridge this morning: we will be investigating mold. Since he's never been involved with a Science Fair, we are going to do the whole big bang project and take it to other home-schooled students in our neighborhood.

Other great ideas I have: Lego fractions!

Our reading workshop and language arts theme will be all around Harry Potter and Heroes. We are reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets right now. So in light of this new adventure and the many ideas that I have been asked for, I'm starting a new blog featuring my 3 deaf children, homeschool, language and literacy activities as well as parenting tips and great support ideas for parents of deaf children & even health and wellness! Put your email in to follow and join our journey!